Recently my grown daughter was discussing her weekend plans with me. "Why don't you ask Heather to go with you?" I said about one event.
Catie looked thoughtful. "Maybe. It depends on what Jason wants to do. They're a unit," she added helpfully, and escaped before I could riff on that. What were they, an item at a yard sale?
A storage stall?
I was amused when I heard a young male co-worker (back when I HAD co-workers) describing a disastrous weekend in the Big Apple. The topper? Seeing his girlfriend's car impounded. But his description of the ride home really sealed the deal for me. "On top of it all," he told an enthralled office, "I had to tell her I didn't see a future for us."
Say what?
That ain't no way to treat a lady.
This generation takes its love and commitment at one step removed. Maybe it's the result of the Age of Aquarius and our relationships -- they were so gloriously messy. We fought, we cried, we broke up, we brooded. We took out the razor and put it back again.
We didn't "talk it out." Most of the time he stopped calling -- and we dealt with it. We cried our eyes out, put on our threadbare bathrobes and ate our way through the crisis. Saved us the painful "face to face" and the result was the same. Eventually, we moved on.
But today's break-ups have to take place in real time, with catchphrases like "It's not you, it's me" and my personal favorite, "I'm at a place in my life." Really, who isn't?
Even this generation's dating is bloodless. They have a series of "levels" -- moving to the first level, moving to the next level, "seeing a future." I can envision these young couples with a mental checklist or, horrors, a real one.
And they still get hurt.
Catie looked thoughtful. "Maybe. It depends on what Jason wants to do. They're a unit," she added helpfully, and escaped before I could riff on that. What were they, an item at a yard sale?
A storage stall?
I was amused when I heard a young male co-worker (back when I HAD co-workers) describing a disastrous weekend in the Big Apple. The topper? Seeing his girlfriend's car impounded. But his description of the ride home really sealed the deal for me. "On top of it all," he told an enthralled office, "I had to tell her I didn't see a future for us."
Say what?
That ain't no way to treat a lady.
This generation takes its love and commitment at one step removed. Maybe it's the result of the Age of Aquarius and our relationships -- they were so gloriously messy. We fought, we cried, we broke up, we brooded. We took out the razor and put it back again.
We didn't "talk it out." Most of the time he stopped calling -- and we dealt with it. We cried our eyes out, put on our threadbare bathrobes and ate our way through the crisis. Saved us the painful "face to face" and the result was the same. Eventually, we moved on.
But today's break-ups have to take place in real time, with catchphrases like "It's not you, it's me" and my personal favorite, "I'm at a place in my life." Really, who isn't?
Even this generation's dating is bloodless. They have a series of "levels" -- moving to the first level, moving to the next level, "seeing a future." I can envision these young couples with a mental checklist or, horrors, a real one.
And they still get hurt.
Perhaps we created this careful generation, we who howled our way through the 60s. Or perhaps time itself did it for them. If I'd had to live through Y2K and 9/11, maybe I'd be cautious too. The plate we handed them isn't very appetizing. Sure, we had the Cold War, but that was before computers. We had Vietnam, Selma and three assasinations -- but we still didn't call our relationships "relationships."
I went to a bridal shower this weekend. Yes, the young couple has already taken it through several "levels" -- dating, engagement, living together, house. They're matter-of-fact about already being in the house together and not taking their honeymoon till February. But when my niece talks about her fiance, there's a glow -- a subdued glow, but a glow. And that gives me hope for the whole shebang. Whatever they call it.
I went to a bridal shower this weekend. Yes, the young couple has already taken it through several "levels" -- dating, engagement, living together, house. They're matter-of-fact about already being in the house together and not taking their honeymoon till February. But when my niece talks about her fiance, there's a glow -- a subdued glow, but a glow. And that gives me hope for the whole shebang. Whatever they call it.
No comments:
Post a Comment